I love to sleep.

I’m a night owl, as I’ve mentioned before….but I do love my sleep.

I’m not a morning person….I’m getting better, but I don’t wake up early as a rule, though I do LOVE early mornings.

So, where am I going with all this?  Well, I’ll tell you.

Dark….or rather the lack thereof.

So, wouldn’t that be DAY, Toni? Not necessarily.  Besides, I’m referring to the light of the Son, not the sun.

Ok, so maybe I’m a little weird, but I was thinking yesterday about the fact that in Heaven, there will be no night. (If I say anything theologically wrong, please, someone, correct me!)  And, I know that we will have no need of the sun for the Light of Christ will be more than sufficient.

So, I was wondering, why no night?

Well, for starters, the Light that emanates from Immanuel cannot be extinguished.  Therefore, no night.  Simple enough.  But, what about no night for sleeping?

I don’t know about you, but I sleep much better in the dark than in massive amounts of light.  So, I wondered why there would be none.

And then, a few things occurred to me:

1.  We will be in the Presence of the Lord God Almighty, Maker of Heaven and earth, Immanuel, Yeshua – who wants to sleep then??

2.  We will be so busy being about the business of our Lord and Savior, that we just won’t have time.

3.  And, what if the words from Isaiah 40:31 would apply in Heaven?  Yet those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength;  They will mount up with wings as eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.

Or maybe the sleep we need here on earth is a result of sin.  And once we’re in Heaven, there will be no more sin, and therefore no need of sleep.  Sin cannot hide in the Light.  And the Lord cannot abide with sin.

So, at this point, it’s still a question for me – what does no darkness in Heaven mean?  No sleep?  No need for sleep?  Is it an illustration of the lack of sin?  Or is it simply that being in the presence of the Creator of the universe will require our eternal undivided attention, thus removing the need for, or possibility of, time used for sleep?  Since Jesus is peace, and we go to Him to get rest, perhaps therein lies the answer.

My girls have recently become involved with 4-H, which means, I have recently become involved with 4-H!  LOL.

It’s ok, I enjoy the company of other people, and gravitate toward others, rather than always being alone.

The girls volunteered for offices within the club, and I am now the proud parent of a Reporter and Health & Safety Officer for our local 4-H club.  I’m really proud of them, though they almost bit off more than they (or I!) could chew.

So far, the girls have (combined) volunteered for:  offices in the club, livestock showing, photography, forestry, community service of course, being on the Christmas Committee, and a few other things.  Now, I don’t mind all that, as long as they remain devoted to whatever endeavors they choose.  For instance, forestry will be very challenging for my oldest, only 10, but has the potential to develop into something wonderful.  I’m excited about the possibilities they have available.

Tonight,my 10-year-old volunteered to be the leader of the Christmas Committee, which will be in charge of delegating for the club party in November.  She is the 2nd youngest, next to my younger daughter only, yet will be heading up this committee.  This is a great leadership learning opportunity for her, and will give her another chance to serve others.

So, it all got me to wondering.  (And we all know what happens when I start wondering!)

How often do we volunteer OUR time as adults?  Do we jump in and offer to provide a service for someone less fortunate, or for a friend who simply can’t do it?

I’m not hounding, and I’m not advocating that you become someone who cannot say, “No.”  But, as I look at my own life, I wonder how much I put my own selfishness in the place of serving someone.  God commanded that we work 6 days and rest for only 1.  Yet, I feel cheated if I have to “work” on the weekends.

I’m a person who doesn’t like to feel that everything is scheduled….our homeschool is very much a “go-with-the-flow,” and reflects our lifestyle in a good way.  But, God has been showing me that some structure is not bad.  It doesn’t mean I have to schedule everything, but simply have a basic guide.  And, I’m learning something else….

When I have that basic guide, I can schedule in some volunteer service.

If I can know that my own personal work will be accomplished by a certain time, then I know I can offer my time to another.  And, if my own work is done, it is selfish of me not to offer my time.

My goal over the coming months is to schedule some volunteer work as a family, and perhaps even individually.  John has been wanting to serve dinners on Thanksgiving for years.  Perhaps this is the year.  I’ve always said, “But, we don’t know where to go?”  Well, isn’t that taking the easy way out?

I want my children to know that there are others who are much less fortunate than we are.  That even though we are not rich, and may never be, that serving others through volunteering is a way to serve the Lord God Almighty, and to show the love of Jesus Christ His Son to those who may not yet know Him.

Here’s hoping you’ll volunteer, too.

Happy serving!

Toni

Very often, a teaching from our little church will light a candle and God uses it to bring an idea to mind to post here.

Last night, He lit a bonfire.

One of the elders of our church, a wonderful Godly man whom I respect tremendously, taught another lesson in his series of studies on the subject of Heaven.  I’ve blogged about at least one of these such studies here .  Last night was on the subject of rewards in Heaven as they relate to works done after salvation is accepted, and not as a precursor or requirement of.

Well, he hit on several key points, but I’ll tell you what stuck out in my mind.

If I am understanding it all correctly, we will receive rewards and praise in Heaven based on our works here on earth.  Now, understand me:  YOU CANNOT EARN SALVATION THROUGH ANY NUMBER OR TYPE OF WORKS.  PERIOD. John 14:6 says:  I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE:  no man comes to the Father, but by Me. (emphasis my own)  John 8:32 says:  And you shall know the truth, and the TRUTH shall set you free. (emphasis mine)

So, in no way was our teacher, nor am I, suggesting that works will get you into Heaven.

What he meant, and what I understand is this:  God is keeping a scorecard of all our actions, thoughts, deeds, words – in short…He is recording our lives in microscopic detail.  If we have received His perfect gift of salvation, then our sins are blotted out completely – forever – by the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross.  Almighty Lord keeps a record of our good works and deeds, kind words, and those determine our reward in Heaven!

For some of us, this is a very comforting thought!

For others, we realize that we may make it through the Pearly Gates, and that would be enough…but don’t we want to hear our Lord and Savior heap praise on us by saying, “Well done, Good and Faithful Servant!”

I know I do.  But, right now, I fall into the second group of the ones cowering in the corner, saying, “Uh oh.”

James 2:14-17 tells us about faith without works.  It’s dead.  If one TRULY has faith, works follow.  When we have received the gift of faith and salvation, we LONG to do good works to reveal the love of Christ to others!  So, why do so many in the church today fail to do it?  We’ll get to that in a minute….first things first.

Seeing someone shivering in the cold and telling them, “I’m praying for your warmth, friend,” is great – pray for them.  But, if you don’t give them a coat, what does it profit?  Would it not be better to say, “Let me give you this to warm you, and I’d like to pray with you also,” ?  I think so.

I think God gives us resources to use for His Glory – NOT for our earthly comfort.  Comfort is great….but, perhaps its overrated.  If you were to give that shivering man or woman your thick wool coat, I guarantee you would walk off not even bothered by the cold.  And even if you did, you just stored up treasure in Heaven.

I think our teacher was incredibly accurate when he said last night that God will hold us accountable for ALL the blessings He bestows – how are we using:  our money, our time, our relationships, our talents, our witness, our health?  God has given us each of these things to #1) provide for the growth of His Kingdom, and #2) to provide for us, His children.

So, how do we use our resources?

Now, back to the question of why so many in the church are not fulfilling their duties as the church of Christ.  I truly believe it’s because we have allowed ourselves to become dependent on the government to perform the duties relegated to the body of Christ by Jesus Himself.  WE are to care for widows and orphans.  WE are to care for the sick and elderly.  WE are to teach our children.  WE are to be the salt of the earth.  But, we are losing our flavor.  And if the salt loses its flavor, what good is it?

We have to get that flavor back and its only through revival that it will happen.

If we can get back to the church Jesus Christ began 2000 years ago, we CAN turn the heart of this nation around.  And by doing so, we’ll be performing those works that James spoke about in chapter 2.

Then, when our work on earth is done, we can look into the eyes of the One who died for us and our hearts will swell with joy when we hear Him shout, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant!”

I have been meaning to write recently.

Really.

I have!

But….well, suffice it to say I was at a loss for words.  And time.  And lots of other stuff.

I do want to share a recent blessing with you though, Reader!

This month, I will have a FEATURE ARTICLE with photos (shot by yours truly) in the Texas Logger magazine published locally.  And, to top it off, I’ll be a regular contributor!  I’m very excited and feel very blessed.  It was a Divine appointment, and God is using it to build my confidence, I think, among other things!

I’m also working on a couple of other publishing possibilities, as well as considering putting some of my pieces together into an ebook.  Of course, these things are all done as a secondary to homeschool, so they’ll take some time to prepare.

Going to do my best to get back to posting regularly, for those who happened to miss my posts!  And, if so, thanks!

I’m looking forward to all the new things God has to show me….

In the words (umm, well, letters) of a friend:

IMHISRU

Toni

I found this list on the Rebelution web site.  For whatever reason, my links don’t seem to be working, so here is the web address to the post – be sure to check it out!

http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2009/08/35-reasons-not-to-sin/

This is a very short post, but I just want to ask you to do me a favor:

When you read this, hopefully on the 4th, say a prayer for the ones fighting for us to keep the freedoms we have today.  Then, if you can (as in, if you know where one is located), tell a soldier thank you.  My oldest daughter and I did it last year at our town’s Independence Day celebration, and it was great.  It meant so much for them to know that SOMEONE still appreciates what they do.

So, celebrate safely, but be sure to remember the reason you have the FREEDOM to do so.  Freedom ain’t free…someone always has to pay a price.  But that someone ALWAYS knows the worth of the reward.

Enjoy your freedoms while you still have them.

Blessings to all my fellow FREE Americans!

(And, of course, blessings to all my readers, regardless of location or nationality!)

I am a pack rat.

I admit it – I keep all kinds of things.  Drawings, papers, articles.  The problem is, I don’t organize it well enough it find it, and soon forget I even kept it until I start weeding things out.  So, at that point, you would think I would say, “Toni, you haven’t used this in X months/years, get rid of it,” right?  Wrong.

Nope, I refile it with better intentions of using it, reading it, writing about it, etc.  And, again, 6 months later…I run across it again.  Some would say I need a better system.  Some would be right.

Anyway, today is the day that I begin decluterring – again.  So, I’m trying to toss things I don’t need.  I’m getting better.  I think I may even be able to overcome my addiction at some point in my life!  But, it made me think of something else:

Jesus said that when we become His followers, we are no longer that which we were before, but are new creations.  So, why then, do we tend to hang on to the “stuff” of our past for so long?  Maybe for some its the pain of a divorce, or the shame of an immoral relationship…for others it could be the hurt of abuse, or the indignity of past addictions.  The truth is, no matter how early in our lives we came to Christ, we all have a past as a sinner.  And, the instant we trusted in the power of the blood of the Lamb to forgive us for those sins, we became something new, something wonderful, something Divinely inhabited by the Holy Spirit.

So, why do we allow Satan to steal our joy by holding on so closely to those things we need to toss from our lives?  I believe part of it lies in lack of forgiveness.  Jesus said we are to forgive others, and He said that if we do not forgive, He cannot forgive us.  Who are we to say, “I can’t forgive myself for _____________,” when the One who created us, says, “I freely forgive you”?  Dare we put ourselves above God and say our judgment is stronger than His?  God forbid!

I believe part of it lies also in familiarity, though.  Even though those things are something we would gladly do without, comfort sometimes makes it hard to let go.  Think about it – an old, tattered, soft, worn-out t-shirt is so comfortable.  You wouldn’t wear it in public, and its threadbare, but you keep it simply because its comfortable.  We are so afraid of getting rid of the familiar sometimes that we miss out on the Divine!  With the t-shirt – God wants to replace it with a robe of pure white!  A white that we can’t comprehend!  But, we’re content to hang on to the tattered, worn-out t-shirt with the stains all over it.

I am pleading with each one of you – get on your knees – get on your face before the Lord of the universe and ask Him to reveal anything Satan is using to rob you of your joy in salvation.  And ask Him to remove it, completely.

Most importantly:  let Him remove it.

Psalm 51:10  Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

For anyone who knows me, you know that the biggest struggle for me comes from covetousness.  Satan knows EXACTLY where to hit me – right between the eyes every time.  Bigger house, newer car, nicer clothes, motorhome, a boat, etc – these are all things I’d love to have.  Yet, I know that being a believer in Jesus Christ does not guarantee me any earthly treasure.  However, sometimes knowing and letting go are two very different things.

At church tonight, one of our elders spoke about Heaven.  He spoke mainly about the New Heaven, the one to come after the Great White Throne Judgment.  Fellow believers, let me tell you, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

Do you realize the sheer size of the holy city of Jerusalem when it comes down to earth at that time?  Even if it were built just like human cities, the size alone would astound even the most skeptical of critics.  Fifteen hundred miles wide, long, and high!  This city is a 1500 mile cube!  Not only the size, but consider this:  the paving material is, as our elder put it, “the most prized possession in the world today – gold.”  But, this isn’t the kind of gold on your wedding band.  In comparison, that’s cheap.  This gold is so perfectly pure that it is like glass.

Then, there’s the “pearly” gates.  First, imagine how enormous gates for a city such as this would be.  David said that 1500 miles would cover the USA from the Canadian border into Mexico, and from the Mississippi River into the Pacific Ocean.  Now, imagine that height as well.  So, again….how big do those gates have to be?  And each one is created from a single pearl.  I don’t know about you, but I had heard the pearly gate thing before, and have read it.   But, when I really think about the SIZE of it, the wonder comes back again.  One pearl equals one gate.  Unfathomable.

The foundations of 12 different precious jewels.  I think maybe the idea here is that God uses what we perceive to have immense value as building materials.  But, when you think about it, it makes sense.  God sees more value in us than He does those jewels.

So, how does this tie into the covetousness thing?  Glad you asked.

On one hand, it doesn’t.  It is simply a wonderful reminder of what awaits us in Heaven when we get to see our blessed Saviour.

However, on the other hand, I needed to hear it tonight, because this week has been one of those weeks I have really struggled.  On this hand, this reminder taught me something…something simple, yet very profound hit me as I listened.  Maybe, just maybe, I’m like Fanny Crosby.  She once said that if she had the chance, she would have been born blind all over again.  Why?  Because the first face she would ever see would be that of her Saviour, Jesus.  Now, I have my eyesight, hearing, full use of my arms and legs, but maybe there is still a correlation:  not having everything I long for here on earth means that when I get to Heaven, it will be that much better.

Yeah, right now we live in a mobile home…hey, we’re adults, let’s call it what it is…we live in a trailer.  But that does not define me.  I buy clothes at Walmart, garage sales, and resale shops.  But that does not define me.  I drive a used minivan – and I still owe on it.  But that does not define me.  I do not have a perfect figure, and I am a diabetic.  But, that does not define me.

What defines me is who I am in Christ.  He has forgiven my sins!  Even mine!  And, everyday I wonder why.  As humans, we are so caught up in what we do to deserve something, that we find it hard to understand how the Creator of the world can forgive us so freely – without us doing anything to “deserve” it.  What defines me is knowing that I have a place secured in Heaven…that my Saviour went there to prepare a place for me, and is returning again to bring me home.  How or when, only Heaven knows.

Either way, the song Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus says it perfectly, and I’ll leave you with these words, because tonight, the Lord used them to speak to me:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of this world will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

First, let me apologize to everyone who has been a faithful reader of this blog.  I’m sorry I have neglected this responsibility for so long – I hope you’ll forgive me and bear with me as I re-prioritize things here on the homefront.

1 Corinthians 14:40 says this:

Let all things be done decently and in order.

My life has not been decent and in order.

In fact, since the beginning of the new year, it has been one big ball of chaos!  I thought that in one fell swoop I could start all the following NEW activities: 1 daughter in ballet, 1 in guitar lessons, both in Keepers club, me leading and directing and acting as treasurer for our Keepers club, hosting said club at my house, starting a new homeschool co-op, science fair projects for both girls, softball for both girls, coaching one softball team, officially beginning my photography business, and keeping up with this blog.  And I think there may be one or two more things in there….

So, as a fellow blogger said, ” I decided to juggle less balls. “

I realized that God has been trying to teach me several things lately (remember, I’m as stubborn and hard-headed at these Divine lessons as many of you probably are!) – but, I’ll focus on two of them:

Get more order and structure into your life, Toni.

Toni, you do not have to do EVERYTHING.  It can and will be done without your help sometimes.

Gotta tell you, the last one kinda stings the ego a bit.

The order and structure one, I began learning that one a few years back – before we moved back out to the country.  In a Sunday school lesson one day, we read that verse from 1 Cor.  “All things” kept popping into my mind over and over.  The reference was to things within the church, but I think God used that verse to speak to me about other aspects of the Christian life, and is still using it today to teach me more and help me grow.

So, what kinds of “all things” has He spoken to me about that need change?  This will be a very humbling thing for me to do, but accountability has its rewards:

1)  More structure and order with our homeschool.  I don’t think (but not sure yet) that it means I can’t do things like unit studies, etc…I think it just means we need more daily structure.  At least at this point in our homeschool.

2)  Being a Keeper at home.  I need to be more consistent and diligent about keeping a nice, clean, comfortable house for my family to relax in and feel comfortable in.  Big things like remembering to vacuum every other day…and little things like having the coffee pot ready for my husband every morning.

3)  In line with the first two…getting up earlier!  Ok, ANYONE who knows me personally knows, this may be the hardest after all.  I am a definite night owl (writing this at 12:45AM), and TOTALLY NOT A MORNING PERSON!  I don’t like music or much conversation that early.  But I can talk til 2 AM!

4)  Keeping my diabetes in check.  I’ve been neglecting it almost completely.  I’ve gone back to sugar free and Splenda usage, even though I know there are better ways to do it – like cutting out all convenience foods.  I’ve also skimmed right past the gluten-free thing….I’m not convinced I need to do that.  So, I am back to trying to eat healthfully.  Most of the time.

5)  Our family finances.  Had all our debt paid off.  Got it back.  Is that not the stupidest thing you ever heard??  So, we’re working on that so we can buy a bigger house.

6) In keeping with #4, my weight and exercise.  A living sacrifice I cannot be if I am not here to be one.  So, I am being gently prodded to lower my weight and exercise daily.  (The softball coaching has helped a bit.)  God reminds me often of the consequences of not losing weight, and of not controlling my blood sugar – whether it be commercials, magazines, or just a thought He gives me.

Over the summer, my goal is to begin working on each of these, so that come September, when we start school again, things are being “done decently and in order.”  I want to have each day planned out with a schedule – not because we’ll ever follow it 100%.  But because having a plan and a goal gives you something to follow.  It guides your steps.  If I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m supposed to accomplish, it doesn’t matter what I do.

So, over the next 3-4 months, I plan  to put into place a homeschool schedule, including a yearly course outline – what I want each daughter to accomplish during the year.  I’ll also try to have lesson plans completed for the first semester.  Perferably for the year, with room for adjustments.

I will also teach my girls how to complete certain chores around the house, because they’ll need to know those things later.  Since we are the ones home the most often, it is only fitting that we work together to keep the house neat and clean, even if its not perfect.  It is, after all, lived in.  We’ll develop a plan of attack on the dust bunnies who have invaded our home and taken us hostage.  We’ll have both daily and weekly battles, and monthly wars.

I plan to learn to shop frugally, using The Grocery Game and other coupons and coupon savers.  If that means shopping once a week instead of twice a month to save hundreds, I’ll work it into the above schedule, and we’ll learn math and stewardship along the way.  This will help towards paying off debt, creating an emergency fund, and buying our house.

In shopping frugally and stockpiling, I will cook more meals at home, thus helping with finances, weight loss, and glucose levels.

I will ask God to wake me each morning when He wants me to get up.  I’ll listen and obey.

I will seek His wisdom first each morning thru prayer and devotion, and will exercise for at least 30 minutes after that, daily.  I will do at least three outside activities with my kids each week (I would say more, but east Texas heat can be brutal!).

I will concede my leadership in EVERYTHING for leadership in only a few things.  And I will offer my services and time to large commitments only after consulting the Lord first, and getting His approval.

The last one may be as hard as the getting up early.  I love to be the center of attention!  Who doesn’t?  So, I love to be in leadership positions.  But, to be honest, with the other responsibilities the Lord has seen fit to lay on me, I don’t have the time for all the commitments I’ve previously made!  And why should I?  There are other, certainly more qualified, people out there to do some of the things I do!  I’m not complaining about them, but rather about my egotistical need to be at the head of every single thing in my life.  Its apparently a control issue!  WOW!  I just realized that I am a control freak!  LOL…don’t laugh if you already knew that!

So, Decently & In Order, that’s my new motto. (Notice it doesn’t say perfectly & in order!)

If I’m not around too much, that’s why.  Business, family, God….and not in that order.  Bear with me ~ I’m a work in progress.

We have two roosters here, and the hen house ain’t big enough for the both of ‘em anymore!

The older (and more beautiful, IMHO) one is actually the younger, larger one’s father. Junior is about one year old, and until now, there was no fighting.

Until last Thursday.

Dad is not the king of the chicks anymore. It was a year in the making, but it finally had to happen.

For the last year, while Junior was growing, Dad would chase him off when he got too close to Dad’s “ladies,” as I call them. Junior would run away, turn and go back, and Dad would chase him off all over again. And it never really went further than that.

Crow. Chase. Crow some more. Chase again.

But, Junior finally realized that Dad was old, and he was bigger. And last Thursday, he made his move.

Now, I don’t know if you have ever seen roosters fight, but I understand why it is illegal – I never condoned it, but never imagined how cruel it really was. And once they start, they don’t stop. AND, if you get between them….well, just don’t.

Anyway, for one whole year these two roosters tolerated one another’s presence. Then, the new improved version….wait – that’s a commercial…anyway, the younger, stronger rooster decided it was his time to shine. And, he took his shot and refused to surrender.

Both roosters ended up bloody, but Junior prevailed.

Its not unlike what happens to Christians who flirt with sin in their lives. We sometimes look at certain sins as not being all that bad, something we can handle and keep in check. And, for a season, perhaps we can.

But there comes a point when a fight is imminent. One side or the other has to win. Christ in us is fighting for our souls. But the sin is fighting to hold on – and the world is pulling in that direction.

The Lord is greater than the world, no doubt. But, all too often we allow the world to silence the still small voice of God in our hearts. And the battle rages on, until one side is no longer heard.

So, look carefully into your hen house today and make sure that there is only one Rooster. ‘Cause the hen house ain’t big enough for both of them.